Some times it also occurs to me what if I had only three years to live ? Would I live like what I am living now ?
I would say the answer will be absolutely not.
For 2 years or more, I have been pushing myself so hard to try with this, well, the result cannot be worse, I admit it.
I have to confess this time long is anything but a pleasant one. I endured pain and I healed from it and I suffered another pain.
On and on...
Still I have to say giving up is not an easy thing for me, just like surrender in the battlefield once you believed to triumph.
I got no sufficent talent nor enough time, perhaps that‘t not suitable for me, anyway.
Of course, I have to move on.
And, whatever, this miserable experience had brought me benefits and skills, I cannot deny that.
I have to go on.